Restoring House Tephet - Fluffy's Journal

My name is Fluffy and I'm a Yeddim even though people mistake me for a Yak all of the time. I can understand that. A Yeddim should be as big as a house but I'm only as big as a cottage. My dad is the God of Healing and I can lick people with my tounge and make them all better. Anyway, once my friend Far, short for Farfiglavan is a noble from a dragon house. I forget which but he doesn't like them very much because they did bad things to his mother. But he's from a far Satrapy. I don't know what a Sat is, or why they're trying to trap it, but that's where Far is from. I met far in a card game where he saved me. Some very bad people were going to trade me for parts for a machine and bet me. Far won and we've been best buddies ever since.

But I've probably already told you about that. The story I want to tell you about is how Far found his other friends. We were going home to the Satrapy, when we found out that they had been in big trouble from some bad people. Far is really good at killing things (I mean really really really really really good) and so he was going to go and kill them all but it turned out he didn't have to! A bunch of Tephets had come through and done it for him. Apparently this was a pretty big deal to Far, and he swore to pay back the guys who had done this (he cares about his family a lot) so I put him on my back and we went to the dragon isle. It took us a while and we had to cross the ocean which sucked but ...meh.

So eventually we found the Tephets in a hidey hole but one of the Tephets had been taken by a crazy Solar. My dad told me about Solars and said they were mostly good but they were also dangerous and crazy. It looked like this guy was a dangerous and crazy one. So Barad and his son Katel were trying to rescue Lintol, who is not a bean but is apparently all tied up. We snuck in there, and then we killed him. I mean killed as in mainly Far, but apparently Katel can move around a lot and did it pretty good.

So then we went across the ocean again, and let me tell you it sucked. Never eat the cheap hay. There was a lot of soldiers and they landed at this place to lay seige to it. Apparently there were these big guns that the Tephets and Far had to take out. So we all snuck ashore but nobody was particularly sneaky. I don't know why they ever thought I was going to be sneaky...I mean I'm a Ya...yeddim for crying out loud! Anyway, they saw us coming and there was a big fight. I stayed out of it and let Far kill things which he is good at, but they all did a really good job of killing those guys, but boy were they hard to kill. This one really annoying guy just kind of went inside of the gun and was like...bonded with it or something. It was hard to tell. Lintol kept using this butterfly cloud which was pretty but also killed things really well. They shot a lot of things back at each other and managed to screw up one of the guns so that it wasn't going to work any more.

But there was another pair of guns we had to go to. They were a lot harder because they knew we were coming. Now, I thought we were unsneaky before, but apparently having the gun explode or fire or whatever was even LESS sneaky so they shot lots of arrows at all of us and stuff like that and it sucked. I stayed back and watched. I don't like to fight but I can when I have to. Anyway, they got the gun and everyone was happy.

Then we got on another boat and went back to the Dragon isle. But along the way it turned out that Lintol was apparently guilty of something but I'm not sure what of because he said he wasn't guilty of anything. So we flew away. This kind of pissed me off since if we could fly why didn't we just do that the first time, but Far said it had something to do with Lintol being afraid that people shooting him down. So we flew far to the north and then got lost. That sucked because it was cold but apparently it sucked more for everyone else because they didn't have fur. They found some dead things. They all got hurt so I liked them. Lintol tastes a lot like human. He's about the most human tasting human I've tasted. Barad tasted like steel. I guess because he wears armor a lot. Katel tasted like women and alcohol. I almost got drunk just licking him! Far tasted the best because he tasted like Far. Wait, didn't I mention? Because of my Dad I can heal people by licking them. Its nice to be able to make my friends better but some of them don't taste very good.

Anyway, we eventually figured out where the hell we were and went back to Tephetville. They were making a bunch of plans there, but didn't entirely know what to do. So they eventually decided to go look for Lintol's brother. I don't know why we were doing all of the other stuff instead, but Far said it had to do with building up house Tephet's reputation. What does Tephet's reputation have to do with his brother? I dunno. Far says I should just tell the story and not make commentary, but what's the point of a story without commentary?

I digress. I heard an old guy say that once and it sounded pretty cool. I digress again. I just like saying that, even though I'm not really saying anything since I communicate with my mind instead of my mouth like humans. I think it has something to do with the fact that my tounge has all of that healing drool in it all the time. Anyway, I digress. They went to a hunting lodge. They met some hunters that took them to where Lintol's brother was last seen. Some crazy dead thing attacked us. I helped attack it. I don't like dead things. It nearly killed me. I didn't like that. Fortunately, Far poured some of his healing potions into me and I got better.

We went into a swamp. It smelled horrible. Insects got inside of me, though my healing drool took a care of most of them. Then we think we found a portal. Then we went back. Then we went to the capital Imperial city and told a bunch of guys called the Inquisition that we thought the Bad Tephets were consorting with the bad Dead Things and got help. Then we allowed ourselves to be used as bait, and the two dead things attacked us. It hurt. A lot. A blood ape attacked me and so did one of the nasty spiny things but I got better. I licked myself and Far healed me again. Still, the bad guy took Barad and Katel with him and made them promise my Tounge! Can you imagine the nerve! Far said screw that though but through two potions through the portal and they got back. Then Far and Katel beat up the last bad guy. Barad through him into the air (Far) and he landed but didn't die. Katel beat the guy up but didn't kill him. It was pretty cool. Then the Inquisitors showed up and took the bad Dead thing back to their place to ask it questions.

Then we went to the Bad Tempet's lands and they made me stay outside but Far told me that Lintol is now in charge of House Tephet, mostly, even though two of the guys are 'touring the satrapies' whatever the hell that means. I doubt they'll find any Sats either. So everyone is happy. Lintol is apparently a good ruler. Far sits around a lot and kills things or trains people. Barad trains the army and runs the army and Katel boasts about how he took down the bad dead thing and sleeps with women and drinks a lot. I eat hay. A lot of it and its the good kind of hay which means they didn't scrimp on the money. Oh and there is this really creepy guy called Jory which keeps telling the others that my drool is worth serious money and that they should sell it but no one is listening to him. Which makes me happy.

The end.